A new venture, a new identity

Hi all,

It’s been a really long time. As some of you may have noticed, my previous attempt at starting a scientific blog failed miserably. I wrote myself into a corner and couldn’t really find a good way out. I’ve kept myself busy since then with a variety of projects, including writing grants and papers and trying to get another blog off the ground, but it never seemed like that was “it” for me. I struggled to find the perfect fit, something that blended my interests for learning new things, writing, research and furthering Jung’s ideas. I want to increase the visibility of Jung’s ideas, because I believe them to be tremendously important for people’s emotional well-being, but I know that without further research, these ideas won’t gain the credibility nor legitimacy they deserve.

So I’m starting a small research company focused on the genetic underpinnings of personality, with the hopes of one day linking particular genes or sets of genes to Jung’s cognitive functions. For now, I’m starting small with a web app that will use data from consumer genetics companies and return research linking gene variants to personality traits. You can follow my progress by signing up for my newsletter @Personality Genie .

Please continue to share your stories and comments. I’ll continue to monitor this blog and answer any questions that come up.

Thank you,

INTPblogger

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About intpblogger

I'm a 29 year old female currently wrapping up my PhD in Neuroscience, which looked at the molecular underpinnings of learning and memory. I've just recently stumbled upon the fascinating world of personality types and how our type guides our perception of the world, the people around us and the decisions we make. I'm especially interested in the process through which neuromodulators, released during periods of stress, bonding and romantic love/limerence influence our personalities (and how this might differ between types). My posts will be based on a mixture of thoughts, personal experiences, ideas and things I've read along the way. Since I've traditionally stuck to the molecular/cellular side of neuroscience and possibly scoffed at social psychology in the past (ashamed) I only "discovered" Myers-Briggs theory and myself a week ago, after a seemingly long period of a what I would call an "identity crisis". But more on that later. As an INTP (I think), I'd like to think I have some unique insight to share with all of you, but I don't necessarily think I hold all the answers nor will I be able to express them as clearly as some would wish. So, I welcome all clarifications, challenges, criticisms, different perspectives, thoughts, personal experiences from other INTPs as well as all other personality types that choose to join me on this journey. The idea here is to gain insight into my mind and the mind of others through the mutual sharing of ideas, thoughts and experiences. Onwards.

4 responses to “A new venture, a new identity”

  1. Soap says :

    Hi, I’m here just to say that I’m listening to your blog and you are not the only one who are dealing with those struggles. The process you have gone through is as same as mine, and by now we are all going to start a new venture with a new identity. For me, it’s really difficult, but I have a little confidence now. Cheers

  2. DB says :

    Hi. I stumbled across your blog today and it’s funny how similar my situation is to your 2012 situation.
    I too am an INTP. I am very interested in MBTI and have recently started learning more about Jung as well. I am married to an ISTP who is a great guy. I too suffer from limerence – I am currently trying to recover from a limerent episode with a work colleague (who is an ENTJ and almost my work mentor). Like you, I really enjoyed discussing ideas with this person (I work in Marketing for a Fortune 500 company and really enjoy the thinking parts of my job – the networking crap not so much). My emotional affair also started when my husband moved out of town for work. I learnt of limerence only today – and I think I have been having this for my LO partly because he has been such a good mentor to me (mature ENTJ) and I really liked the person I became around him – confident, etc. I did my best work when he was my mentor. He will soon be moving to a new city and I’m struggling to cope.
    Anyway – I may be a few years too late – do tell me how you coped with limerence and the best coping strategies as an INTP. I’m also very interested in your work on Jung so please keep us updated.

    • intpblogger says :

      Hi. I think as INTPs (especially young INTPs) we struggle most with the grey areas of human relationships — where to draw the line between mentor/friend and lover, so to speak. Human relationships are very black and white for us (funny, since nothing else is…)– we are either 100% in the relationship or 100% out. People are either acquaintances/work friends/gym buddies with whom we share little of the important parts of ourselves (the parts WE find most important– usually not personal or family stuff, but our treasured thoughts & ideas), therefore allowing us to keep a safe emotional distance, or there are people with whom we share the deepest parts of ourselves (often our ideas, often work-related when our identities are tied up with that)… usually unnoticeably/unconsciously at first because we are simply having fun sharing ideas with someone who seems to “get” us, then the conversations increase in frequency and the thrill we get from them increases in intensity, and before we know it we are inextricably emotionally bonded to this person who was really just supposed to be a friend/mentor/boss/etc and nothing more!!

      Anyway. An explanation of the process is not really what you were searching for, so sorry for that! However, struggling and trying to understand the process, what had happened and what was wrong with me, and what I could do to prevent it from happening again (if anything), was actually a HUGE part of my “coping strategy”. I was actually DRIVEN to read everything I could, to the point of obsession (on limerence, emotional affairs, then personality stuff). That being said, I don’t think I had an actual “coping strategy”. I was so burnt-out and emotionally exhausted after the first month or so of NO CONTACT with my LO, that I just went wherever my mind took me (to its darkest places and back it seems). It was a crazy and exhausting 12-14 month ride where I was not “myself”. If you read Naomi Quenk’s Was that really me? she details how the process of getting “out of the grip” of the inferior function, in our case Fe, often involves going backwards through the functional stack. And that is exactly what happened! I spent a bunch of time in emotional turmoil (Fe), then reliving the experience and wanting to recount it (Si), then what seemed like an eternity in Ne (I came up with a ton of research/writing ideas and crazy connections during this time, and our course, I felt all of them to be the BEST ideas ever, but I did nothing about them because I had no focus or attention to detail — fun, but very irritating to see my treasured ability to focus go out the window…). It took a good year or so for Ti to come back and stabilize everything, and for my mind and life to regain its sense of “normalcy”. I have no regrets about going no contact with LO (and no contact since then) and I feel it was the best decision for myself and my marriage (which has only grown stronger from shared experiences, mutual support and more conversations). The memories and conversations with LO have completely faded and where I thought there would be a void/ghost, there is none.

      That’s not to say this will happen to you! It will depend on the strength of the bond and the depth of your feelings for your LO, and how much contact you will have after he has moved away. I will warn you of one thing though — your mind will probably start to search for someone to “transfer” those feelings to, maybe not immediately, but at some point. I actually think that as INTPs we are constantly searching (unconsciously) for “that person” to share and challenge our minds with, and if our significant others don’t quite fit the bill, we can just spend our lives yearning for those feelings again…especially if we’ve already had that kind of experience. My first “mindmate” experience was with a brilliant and witty INTJ female in graduate school and I probably could have fallen in love with her, even though she wasn’t the nicest person to be around!! After the ENFP, there was a brief transference of feelings to my ENTJ mentor/boss, which seemed to resolve itself when I started gaining back my self-esteem and confidence. After that I could continue having interesting & intellectually stimulating conversations with him, without the boundaries of the relationship getting all muddled up and confused in my head. Enjoying conversation with someone no longer immediately equaled being sexually attracted to that person. And when I moved away, it didn’t feel like my whole world had collapsed around me.

      Since then, I’ve come to the realization that “the missing piece” that I was searching for… the piece to make me “whole”… is actually contained within me — I have all the tools to be happy and confident — I just need to pour myself into some meaningful endeavor, continue to challenge myself and learn new things, while keeping my mind open to new ideas and possibilities/opportunities that come my way.

      I’m pretty sure none of that was useful. I am terrible at giving advice. I don’t wish the suffering that I went through on anyone, even though after all the emotional pain and suffering it did provide insights and lots of personal growth.

  3. pink216 says :

    I had the exact same questions in mind ever since I realized dopamine’s involvement in everything we do! I read up on it (neuroscience major) out of curiousity to understand my ADHD better and since then, I’ve been thinking about how this affects the types of tasks each type gravitates towards as well. I hope you’re still pursuing this project and if so I look forward to any updates!!

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