An INTP “grip experience”
I wrote this in response to:
This is the most fascinating stuff I’ve stumbled upon in my readings over the course of the last four months and makes so much intuitive sense to me right now. I was trapped in an emotional affair/limerent experience for two years with only partial awareness of the experience and no real willpower to stop it (did not disclose until I finally confronted the fact that I had to get myself out of it– after I moved away). It’s only when I ended it that I realized the full magnitude of what I had done to my mind and how wrong the whole affair was. My mind went into complete overdrive with obsessive thoughts about what had happened? why? what had I been thinking? I read post after post on emotional affairs, limerence, etc but nothing seemed to satisfy my need to know why I had let this happen, why I had kept my feelings secret, why hadn’t I been fully aware of the consequences and what the attraction to this other person was in the first place. Plus, I seemed to be handling the situation a lot worse than my husband, and our thought processes seemed opposite to those described in the books (usually the betrayed obsesses, the betrayer wants to move on). Not so! I just let my mind go wherever it wanted. It lead me to question my existence, my self-worth, my identity, which had somehow gotten all wrapped up with this other person. I was left with a void, nothingness. When I finally stumbled upon the different personality types last week, it started to all make sense. I had experienced the addictive effects of what you are calling a “grip experience” and its nature has led me to conclude that I must be an INTP. I had connected with another individual with my Ti (entertaining, scientific debates)- Fe (he was a big flirt, admired and respected me, needed me to teach him things). The same thing happened when I met my husband (Ti- psychospiritual conversation) and Fe (also a charmer). I wonder how many INTPs fall into the same trap of emotional affairs and limerence as a way to continue to satisfy Ti-Fe once the effects of romantic love have faded? The experience inevitably lead me to question my ideas/values about love, monogamy and marriage. Scary stuff. But I would not have “discovered myself” without it and been able to look back on unhealthy behaviors that I’ve used in the past to fill that void. I find that since I connect with so few, when I do find someone who seems to “understand me” it’s like the earth has just moved. But, in the end logic won (thank goodness) and I am using the experience to gain a deeper understanding of myself, my thought processes and my Fe weaknesses with the hope of preventing this in the future & living a healthier life.How do other personality types react during and after their “grip experiences”? What triggers them at the start and how do they eventually decide to “quit” their natural drug of choice?Comments welcome!